- nothing happens to or is done by me, as there are no first person pronouns
- in other words, everything romantic happens to someone else
- everything happens in the past tense; no present or future loving, apparently
- more happens to him or by his than to her or by hers (very little by hers, actually, since there is no 's' to make her into hers)
- for some reason saber-toothed tigers are romantic
- as are big dogs
- and pirate ships
- there are some truly disturbing images for female genitalia
- and hilarious ones for male genitalia
- most nouns are adjectively enhanced
- most adjectives come coupled
- he is much more active and aggressive than she
- i'm too embarrassed of the naughty bits to display them on the fridge where my innocent taiwanese roommate would see them; they live in a little plastic box on top of the fridge
and now i know everything i need to know about romance. too bad it won't happen to me (see items one and two, above).
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